(no subject)

[leighblack]

Sorry guys, no photos tonight. I'm in a really shitty mood and perhaps on the brink of making a life changing decision. Well, maybe not life changing. Work does not define me, right?? I'm more than a job. It's just...

Gee, can you tell I'm confused?? I don't know what to do now.

duckduck, don't be surprised if you don't see me on Friday. In fact, I may not ever go back. That's why I perhaps did not seem like myself tonight. It had nothing to do with you. We can certanily still go out on Friday night though. I'll, ummm, have to get back to you about it. I obviously have some thinking to do. It took every fiber of my being to not walk out tonight. But why should I stay somewhere that makes me feel like that?

Comments

[xiolablux.livejournal.com]

Yikes! I hope it works out.

[cyberwuzzle.livejournal.com]

Eeeek...sorry, Leigh! I've had experiences like that, too.

And no, your job does not define you. If it did, my day job would make me stuffy, boring, and incredibly right-wing. I am none of these things...at least I don't think I am.

Shall I recite to you my Day Job Haiku? Here goes:

O! Stupid Day Job.
The boredom. My apathy!
Still, I must remain.

Hope things work out in the right way.

[leighblack.livejournal.com]

Thanks. That's a very nice Haiku. And if this was about my day job, there would be no question, because I can't afford to lose it.

But my problem is at B&N, and ultimately it's just a PT job that I really don't get paid that much to do. I can find another one of those without too much of a problem. I guess it's just not worth busting my ass and doing all kinds of things that are so NOT my job, then still being told that I'm not a "team player." By the person who told me that he thinks the booksellers are stupid & lazy.

It's just hard since I really do like my job, and most of the people, and I've been there so long. I'm still really torn about what to do, obviously. Thinking about it all night hasn't helped any. I'm still hoping for that moment of clarity.

Bet you didn't think you'd get all that venting when you responded, did you?? =)

[cyberwuzzle.livejournal.com]

I figured it was B&N to which you were referring. Taylorea also seems to have mucho difficulties there.

They make you all put up with way too much for the wage they're paying. The bastards.

[leighblack.livejournal.com]

taylorea had a hard day there yesterday too. Fortuntately, her problems, though no less important, can be fixed with some management help. But if someone had said to her what was said to me, I would probably tell her to cut her losses and leave. So now I need to decided if I should take my own advice.

Bastards, indeed.

[cyberwuzzle.livejournal.com]

If someone said something truly bad to you, go over their head and get them in trouble. Don't quit...maybe you have grounds for legal action. At the very least, you could get revenge. Did anyone hear the comment? If so, enlist their aid.

(J is keeping an entire journal devoted to times and instances when management has made fun of his accent. Hey...you never know.)

[leighblack.livejournal.com]

It's not something like that. The problem, as I see it, is that I was judged for my review by my supposed "boss" who works with me all of one hour every week. And he's so sure that everything he does is right, he doesn't see what other people do. And that I spend a good chunk of my work time cleaning up after him to make things easier for the booksellers. If a different manager had given me the review, it would have been completely different.

That's bullshit about J though. People shouldn't make fun of his accent. It's charming!

[duckduck.livejournal.com]

Holy fuck! Did he say that to your *face?* I'm surprised you didn't punch him, really. Is there someone else you can talk to? I know there are others who would understand, managerial sorts, I'm thinking. Right? Although I don't know if they could *do* anything. Therein lies the problem, I'm thinking.

Do what you will. If you want to quit, then quit. Really. I won't tell you what to do, but I will tell you to do what you feel is right for you.

Let me know what your plans are.

[leighblack.livejournal.com]

Not only was it said to my face, but it's on my review. Written down & kept for posterity. And it really bugs me that Paul has signed off on it, so he must have read it over. So now his impression of me is that I don't meet the expectations of being a team player. It's all fucking bullshit! Why yes, that's why I take so much time making sure everything is neat and orderly so the booksellers can find things. And pitch in with things that need to be done.

I wanted to talk to Vicki, but I was too worked up to be able to do so in a constructive manner. I mentioned something to her finally at the end of the night, and I think she was really pissed. I just left early and pretty much cried the entire way home.

The fucking kicker is that I got marked down from something our very favorite department manager said to Jason. We already lost one good employee because of her. And to think I was trying to help her calm down and work with her figuring out the bargain/calendar stuff just a couple weeks ago. Argh!

Sorry, I'm still really bitter and hoping that the venting will help it dissipate some. I don't want to just quit because I'm so pissed off, when that may not be the right choice.

[duckduck.livejournal.com]

I understand, I think, but this part:

The fucking kicker is that I got marked down from something our very favorite department manager said to Jason. We already lost one good employee because of her. And to think I was trying to help her calm down and work with her figuring out the bargain/calendar stuff just a couple weeks ago. Argh!

confuses me. I mean, I think you're talking Christy? Right? But who quit because of her? Am I following you correctly? I am so confused here.

[leighblack.livejournal.com]

Yes, Christy. Lynda quit because Christy was such a bitch to her. Okay, she was just a PT-er, but she was still "with-it" and knew what was going on. It was a shame to lose her.

Don't be confused. I'm confused enough for several people.

[duckduck.livejournal.com]

Dude, I had no idea that was why Lynda quit. I mean, I knew she was pissed, but I had no idea why. I guess I thought, perhaps, it had been Kelly (?). Lynda really did know a lot. She was one of my favorite pt'ers to work with because she was smart and worked hard, but wasn't an asskisser. A rare find, indeed.

[leighblack.livejournal.com]

Yup, yup. That was the reason. The details are a bit fuzzy, but I believe Christy pulled her into the office and essentially told her that she was lazy and not getting enough work done.

[rockerlee.livejournal.com]

*hug* I SO feel you here. I know you're probably going through some of the same emotions I went through when I got my demotion a few months ago. Even now, it still makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I busted my ass, worked over, did everything I was supposed to and then some, to have it all taken from me because I have no way of proving that others lied.

At any rate, I trust that you'll make the right decision. Since it's not your day job, you have a little more freedom to decide whether or not to quit. I really didn't have that option myself, which is why I'm still at that damn store.

Good luck to ya. Let me know if you need a friendly ear.

[leighblack.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling a little better now. I knew better than to make any decisions while I was still so pissed off. I'm still not sure what I want to do though. I'll be calling in tomorrow night *coughcough* as I just have no desire to be there quite yet.

Thanks!