Being a fan girl has it's price
Apr. 8th, 2005 10:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leighblackTonight I watched Santa With Muscles, starring Hulk Hogan. He plays a guy who thinks he Santa Claus and tries to save an orphanage from the evil Ebner Frost. Or something. I've blanked a lot of it out already. Let's just say it's the worst movie ever.
Why would I watch this monstrosity?? I think this explains it:
Yep, that's Steve Valentine, playing Dr. Blight. It's hard to see, but he's swinging his stethoscope around like it's a nun chucks. Ugh.
Getting punched in the stomach by Santa With Muscles.
Um. Because plastic candy canes are dangerous weapons. I still love Steve pre-getting his front teeth fixed. Mmmmmmm...sexy gap.
More toothy goodness.
The kids in the orphanage end up locking Dr. Blight in a freezer.
And then the police wheel him out on a dolly.
This amused me. Wrestling fans! It's a Hulk Hogan venture - you had to know this guy would show up. Yup, it's Ed Leslie. Better known as Brutus the Barber Beefcake. He plays a sumo scientist. I think. I really didn't get why he was in the movie.
The sad part is that I still have to cap the whole movie for CrossingNigel yet. I'm going to need a few days to recover before attempting to watch it again.
Why would I watch this monstrosity?? I think this explains it:
Yep, that's Steve Valentine, playing Dr. Blight. It's hard to see, but he's swinging his stethoscope around like it's a nun chucks. Ugh.
Getting punched in the stomach by Santa With Muscles.
Um. Because plastic candy canes are dangerous weapons. I still love Steve pre-getting his front teeth fixed. Mmmmmmm...sexy gap.
More toothy goodness.
The kids in the orphanage end up locking Dr. Blight in a freezer.
And then the police wheel him out on a dolly.
This amused me. Wrestling fans! It's a Hulk Hogan venture - you had to know this guy would show up. Yup, it's Ed Leslie. Better known as Brutus the Barber Beefcake. He plays a sumo scientist. I think. I really didn't get why he was in the movie.
The sad part is that I still have to cap the whole movie for CrossingNigel yet. I'm going to need a few days to recover before attempting to watch it again.
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-09 04:23 am (UTC)Honestly, this was the worst piece of crap I've ever seen. Dedicated is my middle name.
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Date: 2005-04-09 06:08 am (UTC)I like the plastic candy cane. I want to meance people with a plastic candy cane. I should try it sometime. ;)
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Date: 2005-04-09 05:05 pm (UTC)My parents have some of those plastic candy canes in their attic. I'm going to start carrying one around for protection.
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Date: 2005-04-09 09:44 pm (UTC)Mwahaha. I would have SUCH a good laugh.
"Is that a registered candy cane, ma'am?"
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Date: 2005-04-09 02:25 pm (UTC)I can see your point. I think I am fairly glad I have not had the funds to actually get this film. I mean..
oh my my my.
dev
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Date: 2005-04-09 05:06 pm (UTC)But if you'd really like to see it, just let me know. I'll let you borrow my VHS. There's no reason any more money should ever been spent to buy another copy.
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Date: 2005-04-09 03:38 pm (UTC)Oh, my god. Thanks for the laugh. I think I cried a little. Hooo-a!
I think the picture of him frozen is my favorite. He reminds me a little of Count Olaf. Is he wearing a breathe-right nasal strip?
Mockery having been made, however, I do admire your dedication.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-09 05:08 pm (UTC)Nope, not a breathe-right. It's a butterfly bandage because Santa punches him in the face and, I would imagine, breaks his nose. Just a nice kids flick, really.
Dedication hurts sometimes.
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Date: 2005-04-09 06:08 pm (UTC)lmao!
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Date: 2005-04-09 08:12 pm (UTC)